In a surprising turn of events, an anonymous Bitcoin holder has finally landed himself a girlfriend. But according to sources close to the situation, he's not quite sure what to do next.
The Bitcoiner, who has been holding onto his coins for several years, is reportedly confused by the female interface and isn't sure which programming language she uses. "I thought I understood the blockchain, but this is a whole different ballgame," he said in a recent interview.
The Bitcoiner, who requested anonymity due to privacy concerns, admitted that he recently attempted to submit a BIP for Sexy Time, but it was rejected before getting a number. "I thought it was a solid proposal, but apparently, she wasn't interested," he said.
Friends of the Bitcoiner say that he's been struggling with the transition from holding onto coins to holding onto a girlfriend. "He thought it would be a lot easier after the last cycle, but he's starting to feel disheartened," said one friend. “I want to feel bad for him, but he won’t shut the hell up about CVT and OP_VAULT.”
The Bitcoiner reportedly spends most of his time staring at charts and monitoring the price of Bitcoin, leaving little time for anything else. "He's just not used to dealing with people outside of the Bitcoin community," said another friend. "He's more comfortable discussing technical analysis than he is talking about feelings. The last time his girl sent him a ‘We need to talk,' text, this idiot replied with a picture of The Bitcoin Standard."
The Bitcoiner's struggles are not uncommon among those in the cryptocurrency community, who are often accused of being socially awkward and struggling with interpersonal relationships.
In a statement, the Bitcoiner said, "I never thought I would find myself in this situation. I always thought Bitcoin was the only thing I needed in life, but now I realize that I want more. I just don't know how to get it. Or how to talk to it."
The Bitcoiner is reportedly seeking advice from other members of the community on how to navigate the tricky waters of dating. "I'm hoping that someone out there can help me figure out what to do next," he said, “I recently reached out to the smartest people I know, Udi, and this pretty girl named Erica Wall for advice.”
Despite the challenges he's facing, the Bitcoiner remains optimistic about his future. "I'm not giving up on finding love," he said. "I just need to learn a new set of skills, like how to talk to people without referencing Twitter memes."
Only time will tell whether the Bitcoiner will be successful in his quest for love, but one thing is for sure – he's in for a wild ride.