Article authored by Dyno Jeans
London: Natalie Brunell announced a partnership with health guru and lifestyle luminary Gwyneth Paltrow. This exciting new power-duo will soon release a full line of Bitcoin themed healthcare and houseware products.
“Ever since I was a little girl in Poland I looked up to the powerful fancy ladies of Wall Street and Hollywood. Meeting Gwyneth at Davos was a dream come true.” When asked how the unlikely partnership came to be Natalie was understandably tight-lipped, “Let’s just say what happens in Davos stays in Davos,” she said with a coy wink.
On the subject of what eager fans can expect she was happy to answer any and all questions. “Honestly this is just the tip of the iceberg, we have so many more plans, but to start we’re focusing on you in the home. We’ll have orange peel enemas and facial scrubs for a full-body cleanse. We found these incredible children on the streets in L.A. and they’re ... the things they’re little fingers can do are so amazing that we just had to get them on this doily idea that Gwyneth is crazy about. It’s the classic Bitcoin B surrounded by a sunburst woven from organic honey badger fur.”
When asked about that she said, “We’re really trying to work from multiple angles. There’s so much symbolism in Bitcoin—have you seen the memes?—that we’re trying to incorporate as many things as we can, but only if it makes sense of course. Gwyneth’s honey badger doily is really sublime, and you know it’s actually designed for your honey pot.”
And yes, they’ll have honey pots too, Natalie confirmed. “Oh absolutely. What else would you do with the doily?”
When asked to name a few favorites Natalie gave us a quick rundown of just a few things we can expect in the fall release. “The crystals are one of the things I’m super excited about, nothing has boosted my trading as much as them. I tell people I DCA, but when I’m not interviewing I’m watching those charts like a hawk and the crystals give me so much more focus. Of course I’m drinking the bitcoin infused water at the same time, so it’s hard to say which is doing more for me. Take any ol’ tap water, pour it into our Saylor-blessed cups, set it one of the hungarian marble coasters we’re having made in Sri-Lanka, put a drop of honey in (assuming it was on a honey badger doily for at least 21 hours), and let the orange magic happen. It’s life changing.”
We look forward to the full catalog coming this September.