Shocking: Proof: Gary Gensler Is Satoshi Nakamoto

Shocking: Proof: Gary Gensler Is Satoshi Nakamoto

Article authored by Dyno Jeans

Today's news is awash with headlines, each more ground-breaking than the last. Each written with the utmost respect for truth and with the highest degree of integrity that it boggles the mind that the Pulitzer panel is capable of narrowing their selection down from the--literally--thousands of prize-winning worthy pieces.

With that said, it's with unrivaled astonishment that this story slipped under journalism’s acute radar. Instead of burying the lead, let me be up front and frank: Gary Gensler is Satoshi Nakamoto, the one-and-only inventor of Bitcoin, except he's not the 'one-and-only' at all.

This whiplash fact of earth-shattering proportions was found in the recent documents shared by the FBI's Alien whistleblower, David Grusch. According to Grusch, "What we discovered [on the craft] were copies of genetic blueprints." When pressed about what he meant, Grusch continued, "It took us more than fifteen years to decipher how to read the blueprints, but thanks to a combination of Egyptologists, Roseetta stone enthusiasts, and Duolingo dabblers we did it. What we have is the exact recipe, if you will, outlining exactly how to make a Gary Gensler. There are pods all over the world with back-up Genslers. Have you ever looked at Christine Lagarde and Gary Gensler next to each other? Try it. You might have to squint a little, but it’s the same person. They’re clones.”

This alone is jaw-dropping. Multiple Genslers in the world, right now, as we live and breathe? “Yeah, but the really wild thing we learned is that Gary is Satoshi Nakamoto. The aliens, whatever they are, have a four stage plan, it’s all there in the blueprints. They send these probes across the galaxy, each one equipped with—basically—human 3D printers. That’s step one. Step two is the printing of a Gensler/Nakamoto, once an inhabited planet is found. Step three he (or she, whatever) creates the Bitcoin protocol. And the last step is protecting it within the system. The U.S. has Gensler, the EU has Lagarde, and there’s some others out there too. A few got confused and are homeless.”