Article contributed by Bitcoins Maxipad
Bitcoin has decided at the ripe age of fourteen to transition with it's next halvening to the Love Child of Representative Sherman and Senator Warren. The Parents could not be prouder and will be holding hourly press conferences about themselves. Bitcoin's new pronouns will be Xtra Righteous Politician. The coming out party will be held at the SBF/Soros duck grooming ranch.
Celebrities in attendance will be Elon musk and new girlfriend Linda Yaccarino announcing all attendants will receive a rainbow check marks, CBDC savings accounts and a case of Bud gay. Faketoshi who cried with the announcement that his paternity test and patent were negative. Peter McCormack will MC the event after taking on XRP as his new sponsor. Anthony pompliano not to be outdone will be live streaming the event to make another POS announcement. Cory Klippstein has launched Swan XRP with the comment "It is good to be going back to my roots." Mike Novagratz will have his tattoo artist stationed by the pool filled with rubber ducks and condoms. Festivities will include catch your own crickets and maggots for lunch.
In related news Alex Mashinsky has filed a class action suit stating this is his Love child through his bankrupt yourself foundation.
Security will be handled by Greenpeace and Tofo energy.
All media inqures should be sent to Dorter and Penis, formally known as flaccid penis lobbying Inc.